Our First Play Party

It may seem trivial, worrying about what to wear, but that is the joy of a first-anything in the scene. You hear stories of these things, fantasies as much as fact, often embellished by what people hope they are, then your own insecurities kick in (have I just let out the secret that Doms have insecurities too? Oops. *Grin*). Inevitably you end up worrying about absolutely everything: Will I be considered an unwelcome voyeur if I do not dress up enough and do not participate? Will I even want to participate? Will I fit in? What if either my sub or myself feel threatened? What if… The list is pretty much endless.

In the end, I went with brown leather boots, a tan hemp shirt, beige trousers and a resolution to just get on with it and see what happens. Ultimately, that is just about all you can really do - be yourself and hope it is the kind of group that accepts new comers. If it is not, then pick up your pride and console yourself with the thought that it is their loss.

I was lucky. TIES was a great choice. The people, particularly some of the organizers, were very friendly, I already knew a lot of them via an email list and, fortunately, they already knew kitten from the munches. We were spotted as newbies at the door and taken under a protective wing, given a tour of the house, shown where the drinks and food were, which rooms were for public play, which were for private play, which were non/light-play chill-out areas, what the house rules were and so on.

For all we were incredibly lucky, that is not to say things were the easiest they have ever been. What do you do when a fully-grown man in a Dalmatian suit bounds up to you? (It turns out you pet him on the head and he is perfectly content). How much of your flesh and your sub's are you expected to expose when half the people around you are walking around with breasts, bottoms and occasionally more exposed? (Whatever you feel comfortable with - it is better to start slowly and do things at your own pace than to rush in, trying to fit in, and feel uncomfortable the whole time).

With time, we did settle in as though it was a munch, just with people able to act freely without worrying about public decency laws. We settled in to a conversation with a couple that kitten knew and just took things at our own pace. Very quickly the nudity and play around us just became part of the norm and we hardly noticed it. When a submissive who had learned to bellydance for her Dom put on a show, everyone watched appreciatively, clapping her along, paying attention to the beauty of it, not her near naked state.

Sadly, power games did interrupt. I have never fully understood why Dom/mes need to prove themselves by being abusive to others. I have always thought confidence in your own abilities is what shows through and vulgar displays just go to show that you are not so sure of yourself.

It started innocently enough with the Dom part of the couple we had been talking to waving a laser pointer around, so the puppy-boy could chase the spot on the floor. While puppy-play may not be to everyone's tastes, everyone entered in to it in the spirit it was intended. Putting the pointer away he said, "Not bad for fifteen dollars and a couple of tokens." To which he received the [as far as I could tell] uncalled for put down, "Well mine was only ten dollars and no tokens," from a Domme sitting across from him. Without even pausing he returned, "Yes, but can yours do this? Breasts!" Instantly his sub's top came down, exposing her to the room. To this day, that act remains my favourite example in which confidence in yourself winning out over abusive point scoring.

We had to leave early as I was still jetlagged from the flight-from-hell and kitten has always been a morning person. Before we left we took a final tour around. A friend was watching a heavy scene in one of the bedrooms from a group in the hallway. Suspension bondage was being practiced in another bedroom. In a third room, a set of stocks lay ready to be used by anyone who wanted them. Condoms were available as the party was strictly safe-sex only. In a final room, smokers sat talking able to indulge their personal snuff play in private. Back in the main room, people continued to talk, playing lightly, admiring each other's toys, spanking an occasional recalcitrant bottom and generally having a good time.

Soulthief