Organising A Munch
Everyone has their own ways of organising a munch. One of the great things is actually the way different munches are different as it allows you to find the one that suits you. Here are the decisions we made for the D/s UK Community munch. Hopefully it'll help both with those thinking of organising their own munches and also explain our decisions to those who come to the D/s UK Community munch.
Who To Invite
The D/s UK Community was an existing group on the MSN chatrooms. It had been set up as a serious D/s discussion and advice forum, an alternative to the large numbers of "play" rooms that were the norm. While a lot of people used and liked the room, the concept of actually meeting others "in real life" (irl) regularly came up. A lot of established "real life" groups tend to look down upon those who know confine their exploration to the safety of the web and this attitude in others was recognised, even felt, by many of the users of the room. As we (kitten and Soulthief) had been a part of other "real life" munches and play parties, we offered to do what we could along with the help of the lady who originally set up the D/s UK Community.The community, obviously, supplied the core group we were trying to provide for. They were people, often new to the scene, often nervous of taking their first "real life" steps, who wanted a very safe, very friendly place to meet others. One of the things that struck us was just how many people were interested - every time it was mentioned several more people would express an interest.
The First Munch
The first munch was organised with a semi limited invite list. Rather than throwing it open to everyone, while it got established we wanted to be able to ensure things remained sane and so there was a degree of vetting people before inviting them. Still, the invite went out to about thirty people. As said elsewhere, the unfortunate reality is most of those who are telling you what a wonderful idea it is won't be able to afford the train fare, are busy that day, can't get a baby sitter, or, for any one of a hundred other reasons, can't make it.In the end four people turned up - ourselves, the lady who organised the room originally and her Dom. We were, to be fair, briefly joined by around a dozen Hare Krishnas who were marching passed at the time. It was very disheartening to have so many people fail to make it but even so, we'd organised a munch, those who were there, albeit only a few, enjoyed themselves. So, in its small way, it was a success.
Inviting Friends
It was obvious that simply inviting people who were interested was going to result in a lot of people we could not rely on. Instead of trying to organise another full-on munch straight away, we decided to get to know others "in real life" on a much more individual level. Eventually, what was supposed to be a small group of friends half became our second munch.That second munch was a lot of fun and meant that organising another, a month later, that day became a possibility. As there was a friendly core, we could rely on them turning up. If there were any difficulties we had friends to rely on. If no one else came, we would still enjoy ourselves, if others did there was a really good vibe established.
The next month had quite a few more people, as did the next and so on. We managed to avoid it becoming clique-like and so kept it approachable to the new people that were coming each month yet have a large group that do know each other and provide the atmosphere ensuring everyone, the new people included, enjoy themselves. Which pretty much takes us to where we are at the time of writing.
So, the group is open to anyone involved with the scene, with a connection to the D/s UK Community. Whether people are hetro-, homosexual or bi, pretty much whatever their kink (though there is a D/s emphasis) people are welcome. Some people's tastes are not entirely the same as other's but there are more than enough people that no one has to deal with anyone they are uncomfortable with.
Finding A Good Venue
Holding the munch in a private home was never really a practical consideration for us. Living in and around London, most of us live in appartments that are too small for a lot of people, transport can be a pain and so on. There was also the aspect that we wanted things to be approachable and turning up at a stranger's doorstep can be daunting. For us it had to be somewhere like a bar and, for transport, it had to be right in the centre of London.Ideally we would have had it in a bar that could have given us a private room. In reality we had neither the money to pay for that nor the numbers to get it for free, so it had to be a public venue. We knew of a bar that had a relatively quiet upstairs lounge. It was very central and seemed the perfect location. What we had not done was go there at the same time we were holding the first munch - Saturday evening. On Saturday evenings it turns from a quiet upstairs lounge in to a very noisy, very busy, one where conversation was all but impossible. Fortunately, once the time changed this stopped being an issue.
Seating seemed like it was going to be a problem at first - after a couple of munches we had more people coming than there were seats. This has actually turned out to be a good thing. As there is not enough seating people tend to stand and move around more which leads to a lot more friendliness and different conversations. Those who really want to sit can find seats, others perch on a pool table and a lot stand. All in all it forms a friendly, casual, environment.
We do get the odd request (usually one or two per munch) to host it in different locations, other cities and so on. We completely agree, a regular munch for the same core group, who can't make it to London, in say Birmingham, Manchester, Scotland or Ireland would be great. We just feel it would be better as a second, separate munch, as opposed to messing around with the venue that suits a lot of people as it is. There is more on that mentioned in the ground rules section.
Finding A Good Time
We first assumed that Saturday night would be a good time. Actually Saturday night is quite difficult for a lot of people, especially those with children, it is also when the bars are the busiest so getting a semi-quiet, semi-private, venue becomes difficult. As a lot of people had to travel, mid-week was not really an option. Saturday afternoon, as it is just once a month, turned out to work much better. Those with families could usually arrange sitters. Those who had to travel had time to get home. Once we had a time, we chose to stick to it for every month as it made it much easier for people to plan for.A few people were, inevitably, not going to be able to make it. While we would love to please everyone, that just is not possible. The final decision does, inevitably, come down to what the organisers can make as they have to be able to make it month in, month out. For us that was the second Saturday of each month, from 2pm until about 6pm (with some people carrying on well in to the evening).
Conclusion
How you organise your munch is entirely up to you. This is simply how we organised our munch, why we made the decisions we did, why they worked and how we overcame the things that did not.It is a huge amount of work to organise a munch. To set it up; walk it through the first few painful ones (I know of some, now very large, groups whose painful phase took quite a few years); advertise it; keep interest up; make sure you are there month after month; is all a lot of, often thankless, work. When it does work though it is very rewarding indeed. To see others relax in who they are, enjoy themselves and realise they're not alone, is incredibly rewarding. I still miss the Hare Krishnas though.
SoulThief
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This page was last updated on Sunday 10th 2000f September 2000