Sub's Haven
Being a submissive is a fascinating and fulfilling thing. Meeting your dominant and pleasing your dominant can be rewarding, but it can also be confusing, frightening, and worrisome. There are so many aspects to being a submissive that bear exploration. How do you come to terms with these 'strange urges' of yours in the first place? How do you talk to your partner? Is there anyone out there like you or are you a freak of nature? Is there anything one should particularly look for, or particularly avoid, in a dominant? Is it possible that someone actually does live like this, in this fantasy scheme?As a submissive, I have written these pages from a submissive viewpoint. This does not mean, however, that people who do not identify with the submissive urge are not welcome to read them as well. Come in and read and explore. If you are a dominant, hopefully the thoughts on these pages will help you in understanding what makes your little subbie's mind tick. If you are switch, maybe there will be a thought or two that will aid in your exploration of this facet of yourself. If you are submissive, these pages are here to help you develop this side of yourself, and explore what it means in a safe and understanding environment. Everyone is safe here.
Overview
Am I a normal submissive?
kitten addresses the questions she has been asked by other submissives.
Collaring
What collars mean and all of the things that go with them.
Facets
As a submissive there should be more than one side to who you are. Your duty is to bring something to the relationship rather than simply expect the relationship to be everything in your life.
General Advice
The things kitten thinks all subbies should know.
In A Dom
The concept of D/s is one of combination: two pieces unite and work together to create a whole. It is so in every relationship, but it is more dramatic in a D/s relationship. If you're going to be a Dominant, then you need someone to dominate. If you identify yourself as a submissive, then you are not complete until you have someone to submit yourself to. As a submissive, what do you need from your complimentary half? The first two things on this list are the things that are essential to any D/s relationship. The others are things I enjoy, and I personally think are a good idea.
In A submissive
These are
Punishment
What punishment means, why it is acceptable and how it works.
Safety When Meeting
OK, like it or not, there are people out there who are nasty in bad ways. So how do you protect yourself? It really is not all that difficult to take a few simple precautions that just make sure you are as safe as possible. Do that and you can look forward to enjoying the fun nasty ones and avoiding the not so fun ones that much more easily.
Safewords
kitten relays a story that taught her why it is never wrong to call your safeword, no matter how much submissives seem able to convince themselves that it is.
Shaving
The intent of this article is to share as much advice on shaving as possible in a general, tutorial kind of fashion.
What Society Says
kitten talks about accepting yourself and dealing with what society says.
"You're Not A Proper Sub!"
Some Dom/mes - some subs too - seem to believe they have the right to tell you, "You're not a proper sub!" This piece looks at the practice, the validity of doing so and offers hope for those who others have tried it with.Note: There is a piece, from a Dom's perspective, in Dom/me's Haven that may well be worth reading too.
*k
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This page was last updated on Monday 23rd 2001f July 2001